It's one of those days. One of those days where a bubble bath and a few gallons of whiskey seem like a pretty good solution. Sadly, my bathroom does not currently have a door so the bath is a no go, I'm settling for beer and an upset blog post. My beau and I are not doing well. As I told you, he's still in Boston for the summer while I am here in NYC and to be truthful he is not very happy. We've been together for 2 years and by no fault of our own they have been 2 of the most difficult years of both our lives. He is more or less wed to his baby restaurant and I have been in 2 rather difficult years of school, but we've made it through and have been lucky enough to be able to lean on each other. This summer however is proving a more difficult trial than expected. He is unhappy with his subletter, he is working far too much and not making much money and he feels like he has no friends because he has been so wed to the restaurant that he hasn't had time for them in the past two years and now they have moved or have new friends. Meanwhile, as I believe it is clear from my posts, I am loving New York. I have wonderful friends, a job i enjoy and a city I simply can't get enough of. I would love to share this with him but instead, every time I tell him about the fun I'm having he seems more distant and more resentful. This of course leads to me not wanting to talk to him, which leads to yet more trouble.
As I've said, I don't know how to reconcile the fact that in the coming year I will graduate and will need to begin looking into my career and where that will take me. I want to be in New York, he needs to be in Boston. I suppose it's best that I'm figuring this all out now, but still, it's messing with my head and ripping out my heart. Any kind words, advice, encouragement or cold adult beverages are welcome.
What I'm Listening To:
Troubled Waters- Cat Power
oh no, i'm so sorry. it's really hard to stay positive when everything is stressful.
ReplyDeleteit is good, however, that you're enjoying your time-- and that you're where you want to be. perhaps by the end of the summer your time apart will allow you both to see things more clearly. i wish you the best!
Just keep taking care of yourself sweety:) Do you belong to a gym where you can go take a steam room? If not... I highly reccomend checking out Juvenexspa.com I think you can just go and use the facilities for a realtively low fare. I go during the day sometimes and it is EMPTY and peaceful. I sit in the steam and sauna and feel much better and more centered after.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry things are not going well... I know how that feels and its a terribly frustrating spot to be in for sure. Hang in there.
xo
I'm so sorry :( I've been in a similar type relationship and it totally sucks when things going on in your lives get in the way of the relationship. I'm glad you're at least having fun in NYC and doing well there.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe I'll just have to gather all my friends and go to his restaurant to give him some business!!
Sues
Aww Sues I just saw your comment. Thanks so much! Thinks still aren't perfect but they are getting better. We've managed to more or less pull through. He's put his foot down that he needs to start being able to let the restaurant run on it's own as much as he can, he's even on a week long hiking trip in Vermont right now. And I'm actually looking forward to a slightly quieter year in Boston. All the same, the big city calls to me, hopefully we can just enjoy our year and see where it takes us. See you guys back in Beantown!
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