Thursday, July 16, 2009

Emotional Brokedown Palace

Good lord I hate PMS.  Sorry to be graphic ladies.  I don't know about you, but once a month I get annoyingly introspective and it my friends is right about that time.  A little background...when I was 18(barely) I met my now ex boyfriend at my very first internship.  It was an amazing and whirlwind romance, he was 6 years older than me and a DJ at a local radio station where I was interning.  I know, the big league kids!  We went on to stay together when I moved to North Carolina and he was the most supportive and amazing person I could have asked for during the very difficult year and a half there.  

We later moved to Boston together and sadly the relationship did not last past two and a half years.  Unfortunately he was ready to move in together and I simply was not.  He was having a very tough time adjusting to Boston and I was only 20 and not ready to give up the freedom on living on my own.  Needless to say we broke up but remained friendly.  It has been two years since then and we have gone through varying degrees of friendship but have always talked...until now.  A few  weeks before I moved to NYC we were supposed to work an event together(Boston is small and its music industry is smaller so we run into each other fairly often) and when I got there I texted him to be friendly and bring him food.  I received a short text informing me that I was not to text him again.  Ever.  He had recently started dating someone new and so I shrugged it off but the next day I received a call from him letting me know that we can no longer talk or be friends since it is disrespectful to his new girlfriend.  

Obviously I was hurt, but I curtly agreed and hung up, admit-ably stifling tears.  Since then I have had problems with my beau as you well know.  Now thanks to my PMS I cannot stop thinking about the ex, and how things might have been different.  Terrible I know.  But we were in the same industry and could have moved together.  This also stirs up feelings of seething anger towards him and this girl for cutting me out.  While I know it's understandable and even normal, I hate the fact that I am no longer friends with someone who was so important in my life and no longer have a relationship that had a large part in shaping who I am and how I see my other relationships.  What is your take on exes and friendship?  Am I in the wrong to expect it?  Do you ever get weirdly sad and nostalgic, what do you do?


  1. Oh yeah this is so hard. I'm impressed that you guys stayed friendly and supportive so long because I like a clean break from my exes. I get nostalgic if I stay in touch, and sometimes get hurt... so I like to just leave it for that time in my life and not revisit it at all. I don't think that's the answer for everyone, but that's what I usually do. Hope that was semi-helpful!

  2. Oh we definitely had some apart time, we never stopped talking entirely but definitely a lot less for awhile. But once we started running into each other we started talking again, grabbing drinks occasionally, we owned a cat together so sometimes I would go play with my kitty. However once he started dating this new girl, I knew she didn't like me, he cut it off completely. Really rather hurtful from someone who had claimed to be my best friend and be there for me no matter what. Exes are always a beyond tricky matter.

  3. on the one hand i think men should respect their current girlfriend enough to not be all buddy buddy with other girls. but i've also been there too...with an ex for a while after we broke up we'd talk now and then but then he cut me off a long time ago and i understand why. but it's just bizarre and sad in general how you can go from being so close to not existing to each other anymore.