Friday, April 8, 2011

This Love is Over

I am in the middle of that tricky process of getting over someone. It's not fun, I've done it before, but this time seems trickier. Maybe because I'm in such an uncertain and transitional time in my life, maybe it's the fact that it was the kind of relationship that "almost" happened but didn't quite make it, maybe because I did that crazy thing of getting rid of all the little flirtations I had going on the side and just going for it. Whatever the case, I'm trying to get "over". And it's not easy.

I've been thinking about ways I've gotten over breakups in the past to try and give myself some ideas. There was my freshman year friend breakup where I cried for weeks straight and then finally dragged my behind out and volunteered for an animal rescue(huge help for someone who was seriously gun-shy about meeting new people). There was my breakup from my first serious boyfriend, that one I just jumped right into another serious relationship, not a good idea. Then there was that breakup where I moved to NYC and ended up having a fling with a french artist, that worked out well.

And finally there was my break up with the Comedian, my first real breakup since my "big" breakup. That one was tough, even though it wasn't a very serious relationship. I moved home(bad idea) went on vacation with my best friend(great idea), had a rebound relationship(kinda ok idea) and removed him from my life completely(no phone, no facebook, nada). We're friends with benefits more or less now but now when I look back I can't even see why I thought it was such a great thing in the first place.

So now I've come up with a list of things. Not just things to do to get over someone but also things that make me feel good. And here it is...

1) Obviously spend time with friends, and mine have been great about all of this.

2) Spend time alone! People forget this(me too). Sometimes you need to sit with those thoughts and feelings and accept them. Write, read, watch movies, do yoga, whatever.

3) Paint your nails and toes. It sounds weird but it's true. And it matters that you do them. Really take your time and do a good job. It gives you time to do something for you and makes you feel pretty.

4) Make good food, healthy food. I've been bad about this lately, but it really does help. Taking care of yourself is a big part of feeling good about yourself.

5) These are my personal things that help. Coconut lotion or shampoo, the smell makes me smile. Grapefruit and honeysuckle perfume, my summer scent. Plants, they cheer me up, living things make life better!

What helps you get over someone/something?

FYI, my blog titles are now all song titles. Can you guess what they are?


  1. i dunno the more guys i date the more hardened i become to rejection. i don't cry like i used to in college. my strategy is to just keep looking for someone new, though it doesn't always help.

  2. I don't think I'm all that tough. Even though I act it. But this guy was my big long term love over the past few years. He was my boss at a job I loved. I respected him, I wanted to be him. I moved away from him and he moved here too(not for me?) and it's been a mess since then.