The Job Hunt: An Employment Warrior

Here's the thing, I'm a smart girl and I know how to play my cards. And right now I'm approaching job hunting like a battle field. You've got to have a strategy. You can't just go out guns blazing, showing 'em all you got. You've got to play your cards right. I started off applying, contacting some old employers, but it was leisurely, casual, I hadn't begun my full blown stalking yet, I was assessing the enemy, I sent in spies, I tapped their phones and sent out a few exploratory submarines. Then I upped the anty, I started using(at a friends suggestion) a Brooklyn address on my resume, this was when I sent out the first wave of troops, guerrilla fighters disguised as killer resumes. The result, a few more replies in general but nothing from the fortress that is the music industry. Next I informed them of my immediate availability to interview and subsequently start working, I dropped the parachutes in, I armed the missiles but wasn't quite pushing the button. Hey, I'll sleep on the street if I can get a job. Job first, we'll figure out the rest later. Then I started calling, sweet talking receptionists, some of whom weren't so sweet, my spies were among their soldiers but they were still in the bottom ranks. Still, my enemy did not concede. I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve but my artillery is running low, my spies have switched sides, my tanks have a flat and my submarines are in Bermuda. It's starting to look like I'm going to have to just throw it out there, give it all I've got, Braveheart style running onto the field painted blue and outnumbered, I just might have to push that button. So this is me, kilt clad and out for blood, I'm pulling out all the stops, calling in the reserves, getting off my horse and going in bare knuckled. In short, the music industry had better prepare, cause I'm backed into a corner and I'm going to fight my way out.