The Kitty Bear Chronicles

Wilderness

2011-05-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Summer plans. There's this thing about New York, when it gets warm, we come alive. It's as if everyone's been hibernating and how we're all waking up, stretching out and seeing the sun and we're ready to take it all in. Your head fills with images of piers and beaches and brunches in the sun. You're all about ice cream and an open fire hydrant. You look longingly at shorts in displays and buy a new pair of sunglasses that make you look just like Sophia Loren! I love summer in New York.

But one of the best parts is getting out of New York! And that's why my girls and I are planning a trip to my parents lake house. A weekend trip for all of us at the end of the summer. And we are going all out! First we're borrowing a friends cousin's minivan so we can pack all 8 or so of us! We're also having a fundraiser to pay for the ever increasing price of gas! We're going to have a Williamsburg Lemonade Stand/Bake Sale/Kissing Booth! Hurray. Then we'll spend a few days sunning, playing in the water, hiking the gully, eating homemade food and drinking local wine and enjoying some quality girl time! Ahhh, this is the life...

Wilderness- Middle Brother

New Yorker Cartoon

2011-05-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

Sniffle, I'm illin. This all go lifestyle is catching up to me a bit. I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. Things have been nuts! I started my internship and it's amazing! It's so much work, I've never worked so hard in my life(especially for no money). But I'm learning so much. I was worried that I wouldn't be good enough and I wasn't sure how to show them how much I want this job or that I'm good at what I do. But I'm getting the hang of it and I'm doing well and working harder than I could have imagined.

Things are also going well at the venue, really well in fact. I'm working multiple front of the house positions as well as doing office work. The managers seem to really like me and frequently refer to my great work ethic. It's not the norm for employees to work multiple positions so what they're doing for me is a unique and important opportunity and one they clearly were in need of. I know I'm doing well there and even though it's just a bar job for now it has the potential to really help me out in the future. It's also nice because I'm meeting so many great and interesting people there.

As far as dating, I'm actually doing it. I've been dating my ex the comedian for about a month now. He's actually moving to LA in a week, so we will be breaking up. But for this month it's been good, and simple. It's basically dating with training wheels, which I think I needed. I've been through a lot emotionally in the past few years and I needed something easy to remind me that things can be good.

New York is also coming back to life. My little park is all in bloom and filled with kids and dogs and ice cream trucks. My friends and I are planning picnics and trips and my allergies are back for the season. I'm thrilled to be in NYC for the summer again, it's my favourite time. Even though it's brutally hot and smelly, it's beyond fun. The city comes alive and it's as if everyones come out of hibernation. I always think of the Death Cab for Cutie song Summer Skin. It really is as if everyone emerges in new skin, glowing and ready to recharge in the sun like little solar panels. All the pain and hardship of winter is instantly forgotten and we greet the new season like sailors seeing land. Summer in New York is my favourite and I'm thrilled to be spending another one here.

One Of These Things First

2011-04-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

First Day by acelovesvintage featuring retro shades

What I WISH I was wearing to my first day at my internship. Sadly, this outfit is about a million times out of my budget. But a girl can dream. Tonight I'm getting my haircut as well, so it's a big day! Wish me luck!

Summersong

2011-04-10T09:37:00.001-07:00

Ten things I'm looking forward to about summer...

1) Margaritas on the peer

2) Biking around Brooklyn on my cute blue bike Daisy

3) Roof parties

4) Concerts in the park

5) Festivals!! Thus far I'm going to The Northside Festival and The Newport Folk Festival

6) Tiny summer dresses!

7) Fire escape garden

8) Red clog sandals

9) Summer rain storms

10) Beer gardens!

Summerskin

2011-04-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

Now, I normally don't post much about makeup. Cause the thing is, I don't switch it up all that much. A little bronzer, a little blush, a little black eyeliner and I'm done. I've got friends who are makeup goddesses. I've even got friends who are makeup artists, but me, I'm pretty simple. That's why I love these pictures. They're natural with a little bit more. The top one has that lovely dusty rose colored lip and the bottom one those perfectly winged eyes with little else.
Are you a makeup kind of girl or more natural? I will admit the love of a good red lipstick and lately I've been wearing a lot more lipstick in general. My go to fancy look has always been winged liquid liner. Do you have a go to look?

This Love is Over

2011-04-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of that tricky process of getting over someone. It's not fun, I've done it before, but this time seems trickier. Maybe because I'm in such an uncertain and transitional time in my life, maybe it's the fact that it was the kind of relationship that "almost" happened but didn't quite make it, maybe because I did that crazy thing of getting rid of all the little flirtations I had going on the side and just going for it. Whatever the case, I'm trying to get "over". And it's not easy.

I've been thinking about ways I've gotten over breakups in the past to try and give myself some ideas. There was my freshman year friend breakup where I cried for weeks straight and then finally dragged my behind out and volunteered for an animal rescue(huge help for someone who was seriously gun-shy about meeting new people). There was my breakup from my first serious boyfriend, that one I just jumped right into another serious relationship, not a good idea. Then there was that breakup where I moved to NYC and ended up having a fling with a french artist, that worked out well.

And finally there was my break up with the Comedian, my first real breakup since my "big" breakup. That one was tough, even though it wasn't a very serious relationship. I moved home(bad idea) went on vacation with my best friend(great idea), had a rebound relationship(kinda ok idea) and removed him from my life completely(no phone, no facebook, nada). We're friends with benefits more or less now but now when I look back I can't even see why I thought it was such a great thing in the first place.

So now I've come up with a list of things. Not just things to do to get over someone but also things that make me feel good. And here it is...

1) Obviously spend time with friends, and mine have been great about all of this.

2) Spend time alone! People forget this(me too). Sometimes you need to sit with those thoughts and feelings and accept them. Write, read, watch movies, do yoga, whatever.

3) Paint your nails and toes. It sounds weird but it's true. And it matters that you do them. Really take your time and do a good job. It gives you time to do something for you and makes you feel pretty.

4) Make good food, healthy food. I've been bad about this lately, but it really does help. Taking care of yourself is a big part of feeling good about yourself.

5) These are my personal things that help. Coconut lotion or shampoo, the smell makes me smile. Grapefruit and honeysuckle perfume, my summer scent. Plants, they cheer me up, living things make life better!

What helps you get over someone/something?

FYI, my blog titles are now all song titles. Can you guess what they are?

I Wanna Be Where Your Heart Is Home

2011-04-07T08:43:00.001-07:00

As you all know I've moved to Brooklyn. I'm still living in Bed Stuy, but this time I've got a little 4th floor walk up near a park. It's a nice place, though it's not my dream place. The kitchen really leaves a lot to be desired. I seriously lack in cabinet and counter space. So I've been trying to remedy those issues with creative and colorful storage options.
These pictures are just dreamy and I love a colorful, quirky kitchen that's just filled with stuff to inspire me. I'm not one of those sleek, modern, kitchen kind of girls. Like with everything else, I like a little whimsy.

Kick Drum Heart

2011-04-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

The good times keep rolling in. I just found out yesterday that I got my internship!! And they want me to start immediately! I will be starting as soon as Friday. I also start training at my bar job tonight. It is actually pretty intense, I have to train for three shifts then take a test! Things are about to get crazy busy but I have a feeling it's going to be great. I've been trying for years to get this internship and I've finally got it, now I've just got to bust my ass for the next few months and really shine at these jobs(which means I'll be buying one of these). But I'm super excited, this is the stuff I've been trying to get into and now I've got the chance to do it.

I'm also saving my pennies to go to The Newport Folk Festival(if you haven't checked it out by now you should, immediately!). Though I'm hoping my parents will shell out as a congratulations present, dare to dream. I'm planning to go with a bunch of friends, some from here, some from Boston, it should be great! I know that the ExBossFriend will be there, and that I'll be dealing with him a lot in the coming months with these two jobs, but right now I just don't care all that much.

On the topic of dating, meh. It's not happening all that much. I've been spending a decent amount of time with my Comedian Ex. Mostly I think because he's moving in a month and that's dating with an expiration date. Oddly enough that works for me right now. I'm not over ExBossFriend and not quite ready to jump back in there so for now I'm ok with dating with training wheels.

I've Been Told I'm Rather Cat Like

2011-03-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

Cause Lord knows I land on my feet and I'm beginning to think I may even have 9 lives. Sunday afternoon I randomly sent out my resume to all the local venues. None of them were advertising, but I figured why not? About an hour later I got a text saying "Hey Ace, call me tomorrow so we can set up a time to meet, So and So From Cool Venue". Weird, non? But awesome. A few hours after that I got a text from my old boss informing me he had just said nice things about me to the owners of said cool venue. Hurray again!

The next day I gave them a ring and the owner told me to come in around 4, which I did. I waited a bit then met with the owner who basically asked me to tell him about myself. Which I did. I explained that I'm a recent graduate, with the golden ticket of a music degree, I told him about the internship I had interviewed for and my need to support my habit of volunteering in my feild and that working at a venue seemed like the most logical way to do that. So he says to me "see here's the thing, we're not hiring" and of course my heart sinks. "But," he says "I saw your resume and it's great and your old boss said such great things about you and the fact is I have a really good feeling about you and I want you here". WHAT??!!

So he says to me that he can't promise I'll be in the production and booking side of things right away or all the time but that he wants me to get to know everything. I'm going to start off at the desk and hostessing, then learn to serve, then bartend, learn stage set up, production, booking and marketing. Basically, he wants me to know everything. He had assumed I was looking for a music job, I was just looking to pour beers! So they are going to give me a call in a few days to start figuring out where to put me and get me trained. Holy bananas! Now if I get this internship as well I get to be on both sides of things seeing how it works from the inside out! At long last, my first paid semi music job!

A few months ago I went back to Boston for the first time and saw an old professor of mine. While explaining the oddessy that finding a music job has been for me he says to me "I don't worry about you, you've got rubber soles, you always land on your feet". I'm this close to things really working out and I'm hoping like hell that it all falls into place. Wish me luck!

On a side note, I'll be out of town and incommunicado for a few days since I'll be home in the backwoods for my birthday with my family. Upon my return I shift gears into the hyper drive that the next few months of my life will hopefully be. Promise to write again soon!

Interviews, Interviews, Interviews

2011-03-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I had my interview. And I actually think it went pretty darn well. The guy who interviewed me was only a few years older than me and was really cool. We knew a lot of the same people, I've worked with a lot of the bands on their roster and we vibed well. I'm hopeful, dear God I'm hoping. I still haven't found employment to support this pipe dream I call a career in music but I'm trying. I don't think I got the bar job at the bar my friend works at, but I'm still trying. This whole being unemplyed thing is kicking my ass but at the same time I've always done my best when I'm up against the wall and I'm just trying to hold onto faith that I will claw my way out of this.

In other news, dating. It's not really happening. Like I said I ended thing with my musician ex boss/ex boyfriend. Friday was my birthday and I didn't hear from him at all, which was pretty much the last nail in the coffin. The french guy I was dating two years ago is still in my life, though at this point only as a friend and he's taking me out tonight for my birthday. I know he still loves me, but at this point in my life I'm just not ready to have anyone else be a part of it. So for now I'm hanging out with my girlfriends and kicking the job markets ass and that's just going to have to be enough for now.

Have you guys ever lost your job or felt a bit out of place? New York City is pretty much kicking my ass up and down the street right now but I still love her. How do you guys get through tough times?

The Good, The Bad, The City

2011-03-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm back. And good lord a lot has changed...Let's get started.

First I live in Brooklyn. I moved randomly on a Tuesday, on whim, and I've stayed for the past 7 months. I crashed at the old Halsey house for the first month. It has since been condemned. I got a job managing a salon and I grew to hate it, then I got fired. Now I'm unemployed and I've got an interview at my dream company on Friday, which also happens to be my birthday. I've got a little apartment, it's painted turquoise, it's on a park, in the ghetto. I've got an amazing group of girlfriends, we're all musicians, and artists, and broke. I was dating a nice boy, he was not a boy since he was 10 years older than me, but he is moving to Boston, and I'm not dating him anymore. I was dating a not so nice boy, the same not so nice boy musician I was dating in Boston. He moved here, he did not move for me, we are not dating any longer. I am in love with New York and it is kicking my ass. I'm broke, I'm tired, I'm lost and completely head over heels with my city. It's about time I started blogging about it.

Ten Things

2010-07-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

Ten little things that make me happy and help me get through the day...

1) Coke in a glass bottle. It makes me feel like a pinup girl.

2) A phone call with my best lady friend.

3)My pretty new blue day planner, I may not have a job, but I'm ready for one.

4) Writing/painting/drawing in my journal.

5) A fun hat.

6) My vintage blue fan, not only does it cool me off while I do my makeup but it reminds me of a wonderful beach trip with my friends where I found it on the side of the road.

7) Grapefruit scented body lotion and honeysuckle scented perfume, my scents of summer.

8) Netflix.

9) Reading Alice in Wonderland.

10) Taking my golden retriever hiking in the gully.

Several Things I Do Not Have

2010-07-27T09:50:00.001-07:00

This blog is fast on its way to becoming my unfiltered place to whine. But indulge me a little further. As I mentioned I've got this wedding, this indian wedding, but what I haven't got is a thing to wear. As you may or may not know color is a huge part of traditional indian weddings. It is disrespectful to wear black(my go to color) because since it is the color of mourning it is seen as an ill wish towards the couple. White is also inappropriate, although the bride wears red, because it is the color worn at funerals. Final, since the bride wears red, red is out. Since I wear predominantly red, black and earth tones, my closet is providing me with not a thing to wear. I would love to find something along the lines of turquoise, magenta or orange but it seems that those colors are few and far between this season and frankly Ithaca does not offer a wealth of shopping options.

On an unrelated topic, I am still going through serious dog withdrawl. And no amount of babysitting my parents pooches seems to be curing it. It would be premature of me to adopt a dog right now and I know that. I can't support myself, I couldn't possibly support a new pooch. But lord, next to a job, that is all I want. Something to miss me, to need me, to be excited when I come home. Mt cats are fantastic, but it's not the same. I suppose I'm just having a touch time keeping my chin up. I feel a lot like I'm treading water. For all its wide open space, this place feels like it's closing in on me. I know I'm not alone in my unemployed wasteland, but it feels awful lonely. We've all been through tough times in our lives. How did you guys get through them?

I Have Been an Absent Blogger

2010-07-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't written guys. It's tough to keep motivated these days. I didn't get the job at Sony, as a result I did get to go to North Carolina's Outer Banks for a week with my best lady friend in the whole wide world. But I cannot lie, I really would have liked a job. I've been back from vaca for a little over a week and it seems there is another bump in my road. My temp job in the office where my dad works has evaporated. My boss, it seems, is on permanent vacation and therefore has left me with nothing to work on. So long income! So I spend my days sending out hundreds of resumes. Making mass quantities of follow up calls and going on daily crying jags.

Truth is, I'm lonely as hell out here. I don't know a soul in Ithaca and all my parents friends(and my parents) seem to ask about is my job hunt. The sad fact is, there's nothing to tell. I'm like the little engine who could, but I'm runnin' outta steam! I'm frustrated and I'm feeling pretty useless. I'm not even getting call backs. So sometimes I take the dogs hiking in the gully and I can escape for a little while. But I can't escape the ever growing isolation I feel. It's pretty much me and my TV. However, I can safely say I recommend Heroes the TV show, I can say this cause I've watched every single episode of all four seasons. Don't say I never achieved anything.

I am still dating that boy, I'm not where it's going, mostly cause I'm not sure where I'm going. But I like him, and it would be nice to have him be my in city gentleman friend rather than my travel to get smoochies friend. I've also got a wedding to go to this weekend with a friend of mine from NYC who's coming up to stay with me. I'm actually really looking forward to this, he's my french speaking ex but also one of my closest friends and I know that he gets where I'm coming from. Plus, it's an indian wedding, in other words, bright colors, lots of dancing and celebration. I think it's exactly what I need.

Heading Back

2010-07-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

Packed by acelovesvintage featuring TopShop dresses

I'm heading back to NYC for the weekend either tonight or tomorrow. Still no word on the job but I remain hopeful. I'm not totally sure what my plans are for this weekend but I think the above packing list has them all covered. And yes, this is more or less exactly what I'm packing though I'll admit that the jewelry is all wish list items. My dress for fourth of july is a sailor dress like that one but it's red polka dotted vintage betsy johnson and is my absolute favourite. The rest however is pretty much acurate. Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!!

What I'm Listening To:

New York, New York- Ryan Adams

^always makes me think of the fourth of july

Fireworks

2010-06-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

My annual fourth of july post. I don't know about you but I like to dress the part for the 4th. I bust out my red, white and blue and go for it. In honor of that I've found some red, white and blue for you as well. Hope you like it!
high waisted jeans or shorts would be great with this for a casual look. You could also pair it with a sweet skirt or even wear it over a bikini for a 4th of july beach party.
how great are these? They're so classic and of course you can wear them all summer, not just the fourth.
Oh I love it, how sweet! It's fitted and charming and just a bit silly.

It looks like I'll be heading to NYC for the fourth. I've got a few parties to attend and some good friends to run into. My social life is more or less exclusively in NYC at this point, I've got the contents of my apartment ready to go and frankly, I'm ready to hit the road. All I need now is a job to come through and I should know sometime around Tuesday. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

In the Sun

2010-06-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Cleanin' Up by acelovesvintage featuring Wet Seal tops

This is basically what I wore/am wearing today. The first is for work the second is for cleaning up the new anitques I scored when I get home. My loving mother got me a gorgeous mahogany dresser that I've been lusting after. Only $30 at a local auction. It's curvy and has feet and it terribly dirty. But it will be amazing. I also picked up a new to me kitchen table yesterday. In what my mother and I have come to call the "divorce" between B and I he got our beloved 1950's yellow formica table. I got the kitten and the apartment, so I can't complain. But lord I loved that happy yellow table. Since I moved I've been searching everywhere for one and last night I hit pay dirt. I had to drive an hour and a half but she only cost me $75(way under the 300 I'd seen for some others) and she's gorgeous, I've named her Doris Day. She needs a whole lot of cleaning but I think she'll look lovely, I can't wait to have a glass of lemonade on her. Pictures as soon as she's all spiffed up!

What I'm Listening to:

In the Sun- She & Him

P.S. antiques are a great way to go green!!

To Crop or Not?

2010-06-28T06:19:00.001-07:00

Crop tops, they terrify and intrigue me. On the one hand they're fun and trendy and a little tongue in cheek, which I like. On the other hand, bare mid drift. Will it come off tongue in cheek or will it come off floozy, or worse, bad retro, I don't know. Here's a pic of a crop top I picked up on a thrifting whim. It's a very 90's fitted green bra top, but the question, how do I play down it's 90s-ness a bit? Have I gone too far? Is my sample outfit a little too spice girls? I've got another crop top that's red and white striped as well and I've got no clue how to wear either. It's a tragedy really. Got any suggestions?

Once a King or Queen of Halsey Always a King or Queen of Halsey

2010-06-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

^The ceiling in my old roommate at Halsey's room.

Ah new york, new york. It was so good to be back. You want the recap? Ok, I'll try and keep it short...

So I arrived in NYC with the help of my mom's best friend who is a real-estate agent in Tribeca. We got into the upper west side and I hopped a subway bound for my beloved Brooklyn. I arrived and was met by my ex roommate/pseudo ex beau. The one I mentioned who I dated for awhile after B and I broke up. We're not dating anymore but we're still good friends and whenever I'm in NYC I still crash at Halsey Kingdom. I met him at our two friends adorable little ground floor brownstone and we had a few beers and some mexican candy in their charming little backyard. It made me terribly jealous, it is exactly the kind of apartment I want. It was also so much fun.

Now, the next part of my evening requires a little explanation. For the sake of full disclosure I'm going to be straight up with you. I did the unthinkable. Ok, so here's the thing, several of my good friends admitted to doing it too and so I got curious. I figured, what's the harm, I'll just give it a try, have a look around. But then, I was hooked. That's right, I tried online dating. So, I had yet to actually get up the nerve to embark on any actual dates but there was this one guy I'd been talking to. We'd exchanged a few messages, he'd called and we'd talked for an hour(yeh, like in middle school), and he seemed sweet and non ax murderer-y. So I said to myself, Self, why not, let's give it a try. So I packed my metaphorical pepper spray, casually informed my best friend and then hung up on her before she could lecture me, put on my pretty blue maxi dress and headed out to the west side.

I met him at a cute, darkly lit little bar, we found ourselves a quietish corner and a few glasses of wine. To my complete shock and awe it was neither awkward nor blood bath horrible craigslist killer like. It was actually, kind of, fun. And the fun kept coming, we talked, we laughed, we headed to a new quieter and only slightly brighter bar which afforded the luxury of a couch. Bars with couches get serious points in my book. We had a few more beers, psychoanalyzed each other(what, what do you do on your dates?) and then all the sudden he looked at me and said come home with me. Yeh, I know, alarm bells should have gone off. But instead I found myself getting in a cab bound for the upper west side(my what a circular day) and then I found myself getting falafel(yum). And then I found myself making jokes in an upper west side studio with a boy who was playing guitar.

As it turns out dating, while scary, can also be really really fun. I don't know if this will go anywhere, maybe, but either way it was a really great date with a really sweet guy. He has since called(side note: we're also getting married and coming up with names that fulfill both our irish and indian heritage...kidding) and I will hopefully be seeing him again. However, the next day and therefore the next post was the interview, dun dun dun...

Outfit I Would Live In

2010-06-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

Seriously, this is gorgeous. The perfect summer to fall transitional outfit. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to unearth my plaid button ups and high waisted jeans and find that fantasmic belt.

Bushwick Blues

2010-06-21T07:28:00.001-07:00

I leave on Wednesday for NYC again for interview round two. The nerves are already setting in, anybody got a Valium? I've got no clue what to wear, I don't know when I'm heading there or for that matter where I'm staying(details, details). The website for the studio I'm interviewing at is under construction, of course. I know I'm a good interviewer, I know I know what I'm doing, but this is my only shot so far, it makes me nervous. Ahhhhhh.

This weekend I went back to my hometown for my two best friend's little sister's graduation party. I got to see a bunch of old friends which was so great but lord did it make me lonely at even the thought of coming back to Ithaca. The other thing that made me surprisingly lonely was the fact that I was THE ONLY single person there. Ouch, self esteem and pride. My one friend is engaged and rolling up on the one year till her wedding. My other friend, granted after many failed attempts, has a very sweet new boyfriend. Her older sister is still dating her boyfriend from high school, wtf? One of my guy friends has been with his girlfriend for years and there I am, single, and ready to mingle? With who? I suddenly found myself craving that companionship, that team feeling, that partner. And I had nada, though my glass of wine did it's best to be supportive by remaining at all times full.

Usually I'm pretty ok with being single, fancy free or whatever. I like to flirt, I like to go out, I'm rabidly protective of my freedom of choice and independence. But recently(and this is in part because I am sequestered hermit like in Ithaca) I am feeling lonely, I am feeling incomplete. And while I try to keep my chin up, shoulders back, head high, shoes tied, I get down and I want somebody there to kiss me and say it's ok. For now I'm focusing on the job thing, my inner mantra is a continuous run-on of job, apartment, dog, job, apartment, dog. There is no boy in that equation, boys can come after that. But it doesn't mean I'm not feeling a touch lonely.

Now because I'm pretty sure he has a bell in his house that rings every time I either swear I'm done with him or am feeling particularly down on myself, my ex boss texted me. I hardly ever hear from him, we were one of those never began and never ended scenarios. I really liked him and I've got no clue how he ever felt about me other than he would never give in but would never walk away. I'll admit, he's kind of a mess, he's a musician who's rarely around, he's too often self centered and vain but he has moments, and bare with me while I justify all that no good lover man mess away, he has moments where he is sweet and he lets his guard down and I'm hooked. I'm like a big dumb puppy, I growl and I snarl and I keep my back to the wall but then he's nice and I roll over and give in.

So now my best friend and I had already planned to go to NYC for 4th of July weekend and were going to see a show of the band that he happened to sign to the label I used to work out. Well, turns out he'll be there, all sweet talk and whiskey and I'll do my dog and pony show with a rousing refrain of "I don't care" and then I'll give in and hopefully my best friend will drag me away and chain me in a basement far far away from the temptation of my cell phone and a bottle of Jameson. I know I know, I make it sound awful like a bad indie movie but it's not bad really. He inspires me to do more with my music, and he's a good friend and I'm comfortable with him. The problem of course is that he won't just give in, isn't that always the problem though?

What I'm Listening To:

Bushwick Blues- Delta Spirit

Lulu Has The Keys To My Wallet

2010-06-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

Lulu.com is trying to swindle me out of my hard earned cash, and they're doing a damn good job. Their dresses, and you know I have a weakness for dresses, are glorious! This first one I wasn't sold on until I read the name of it. It's called the "Best Revenge" dress. How fabulous is that?! It's got studs and sexy all wrapped up into one. And I know a little someone who deserves this exact kind of revenge.I seriously love cut out back and the little heart cut out on this is so sweet I don't even think I would mind the inevitable funny tan lines.
I'm convulsing, this dress is too lovely. I have a weakness for red dresses and this one is delightful! It exposes all the lovely bits, like legs and back, without looking one bit trashy. J'adore.
What a lovely dress, and I happen to have the perfect plum colored patent leather mary janes to go with it. I'm just saying.
This is another great work dress, it's classy but whimsical which more or less describes my work style(odd?) . I'm like a fairytale for the corporate world.
Ok, this charming piece of fabric is the perfect park dress. Also it has a cut out back. Hurray! You could wear it to work with a cardi and then head out for sunshiney post work drinks.
This is called the drive in movie dress and will someone please buy it for me? It combines several of my favourite things, red, that impossibly flattering high waisted skirt and a cut out back and my personal fav, pockets!! I'm in love!

Curiouser and Curiouser

2010-06-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

Unbirthday Party by acelovesvintage featuring Vivienne Westwood shoes

A happy unbirthday to me!!

I have decided that I deserve a party. An unbirthday party. When I get a job and my darling best friend and I find an apartment and move to new york I am throwing us a house warming unbirthday party. I'm talking tea cups and tiny cakes and silly costumes and other such nonsense. There would of course be a heart shaped red velvet cake(yum, my fav) and me in black and red cause after all, I'm the queen of hearts. Just like the picture, and how great is that jewlery???I would really love to have a little top hat on a headband like I've seen out there. You are, of course, all invited. I'm a fan of theme parties, are you? Know any good themes?

P.S. I think this dress would be swell!

The Job Hunt: An Employment Warrior

2010-06-16T06:33:00.001-07:00

Here's the thing, I'm a smart girl and I know how to play my cards. And right now I'm approaching job hunting like a battle field. You've got to have a strategy. You can't just go out guns blazing, showing 'em all you got. You've got to play your cards right. I started off applying, contacting some old employers, but it was leisurely, casual, I hadn't begun my full blown stalking yet, I was assessing the enemy, I sent in spies, I tapped their phones and sent out a few exploratory submarines. Then I upped the anty, I started using(at a friends suggestion) a Brooklyn address on my resume, this was when I sent out the first wave of troops, guerrilla fighters disguised as killer resumes. The result, a few more replies in general but nothing from the fortress that is the music industry. Next I informed them of my immediate availability to interview and subsequently start working, I dropped the parachutes in, I armed the missiles but wasn't quite pushing the button. Hey, I'll sleep on the street if I can get a job. Job first, we'll figure out the rest later. Then I started calling, sweet talking receptionists, some of whom weren't so sweet, my spies were among their soldiers but they were still in the bottom ranks. Still, my enemy did not concede. I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve but my artillery is running low, my spies have switched sides, my tanks have a flat and my submarines are in Bermuda. It's starting to look like I'm going to have to just throw it out there, give it all I've got, Braveheart style running onto the field painted blue and outnumbered, I just might have to push that button. So this is me, kilt clad and out for blood, I'm pulling out all the stops, calling in the reserves, getting off my horse and going in bare knuckled. In short, the music industry had better prepare, cause I'm backed into a corner and I'm going to fight my way out.

Frivolity

2010-06-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

This is a post about the frivolous things. As I believe I have made clear I am bound and determined to get back to NYC(and when I get there my fellow NYC bloggers will be bound and determined to come get a celebratory drink with me). I am in the mean time biding my time with an office job and a long list of resumes but I can't help but dream about my fancy life in NYC. Now, I know I will be broke, but that doesn't mean I can't be fabulous. So this is a post about all the extras, the etc.'s the little bits more. The things that we don't really neeeeeed per say. Sure, without them the earth will continue to turn, the sun will shine and the stars will sparkle but would it turn, shine and sparkle just a little bit more with them?

Frivolity by acelovesvintage featuring Forever21 dresses

Frilly tap pants and turquoise hot pants, why? I don't know, because.

Charming mustard yellow shorts that are just a bit too twee.

Tortoise shell cat eye sunglasses, I'm indulging my inner screen siren.

A black leather hoodie to indulge my inner bad ass.

Lacy black lingerie, to indulge my inner vixen.

Heart shaped sunglasses, these are actually a must for me, I own several frivolous pairs.

Beautiful dresses, one that's all too sweet, one that's so exotic and one that lets me sparkle.

Red ballet flats with a lightening bolt to indulge my inner super hero(excellent for interviews when you need a little oomph).

Drop dead have to have it gorgeous jewelry to indulge my inner queen.

Red heels with a sweet little bow, 2 parts sweet, one part saucy.

Ink Love: This Next

2010-06-14T07:30:00.001-07:00

Meet my new tattoo, ok ok, this isn't mine. But I will soon be sporting a similar one. I'm thinking of doing my "mad to live" like this instead of my ribs. What are your thoughts?

Gradituation

2010-06-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share a quick picture from my graduation. That's right, I'm officially a big girl. My family came in, there was walking and diplomas and frankly, I was exhausted! Andddd, I nearly slept right through my 8am meet time and had to book it, wet hair and all, to the TD Bank Garden for the graduation. Thank god for my trusty blue bike Daisy who got me there in the nick of time. Now if only she could find me a job!

What I'm Listening To:

History From Below- Delta Spirit

The Prodigal Daughter Returns

2010-06-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a long absence and I apologize. I have been rigorously searching for a job in NYC and settling in to my parents lake house. Well the kitties and I are settled, more or less. Granted our stuff is strewn about the upstairs of the cabin, but we're making due.

I've got a working car, home cooked meals every night and the accompanying elliptical necessitated by said meals. Sadly, no "grown up" job yet. But I had an interview at Sony not too long ago and I've got a second one in about 2 weeks, keep your fingers crossed for me.

In the meantime I'm temping at my dad's office and continuing to send out resumes. I'm hoping to start volunteering at a local animal shelter as well and I'm looking into taking a dance class. I'm also looking into working part time or interning at a local radio station to pad my resume while I keep looking for work in NYC.

In other(good) news my best friend may in fact be coming with me to Brooklyn. We're both applying for work, her in restaurant PR and me in music and crossing our fingers. We're also having visions of a cute prewar apartment hopefully with a yard and a whole bunch of second hand furniture as well as my two kitties plus her dog and kitty. My what a family!

I am also beginning to think abotu having a new dog in my life. Losing my little bear was really really difficult and I'm far from over it but I'm also feeilng very lonely and purposeless without a dog in my life. As it turns out a friend of my mom's has a little dog that she needs to find a new home for named Coco. I'm thinking about fostering him for awhile, maybe he's not for me, but either way it would be nice to help.

Anyways, I'm also doing this thing, I believe it's called dating. Since B and I broke up I haven't really dated anyone seriously. I dated my ex boss, kind of, but it was never anything serious. The closest I got to something real was dating a friend of mine who as it turned out was not much of a friend afterall. So now I am cautiously dipping a toe in the dating pool. That is to say, I am not dating anyone. But I'm open to it, I'm just not seeking it out so much. That said the thought of dated outfits does get me all a twitter...

Nerd by acelovesvintage featuring TopShop bags

Bustier Jumper
$325 - loefflerrandall.com
More rompers »

Chelsea Crew Perforated Oxford
$58 - urbanoutfitters.com
More oxfords »

Small Pushlock Satchel Bag
$90 - topshop.com
More TopShop tote bags »

Alkemie + Cupid's Arrow Bangle
$140 - econsciousmarket.com
More bracelets »

Barrie round-frame acetate glasses
$360 - net-a-porter.com
More Oliver Peoples sunglasses »

Belfry Smith - Panama Straw Fedora: Hatsinthebelfry.com
$88 - hatsinthebelfry.com
More hats »

The Lake House

2010-05-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm here at the lake house, kind of losing my mind. No internet except at my parents in town. Bare with me!

I'm Not Dead Yet!

2010-05-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

OK guys, I'm not dead. I've morned. I've learned. I've graduated. And now I'm moving on. I'm packed up, I've got interviews in NYC and while a veritable TON of shit has happened in the past month(which I promise to full you in on) I'm ready to move it on along. Bare with me while I am more or less internet-less till I get all settled but I promise there will be stories, news and pictures galore.

Currently Listening To:

She and Him: Volume Two

RIP Bear

2010-03-15T15:28:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately my little bear passed away this morning after spending the last 10 wonderful years with me. I'll be taking a little break from blogging.

Revealing Truths

2010-03-12T07:35:00.001-08:00

I thought I would do something a little random and share some truths with you. Not all are flattering, some are silly. But I figured I would let you guys get to know me a little bit. What are your truths?

1) My dresses, especially in summer, are always way too short. But I love them and wear them anyway and just excuse it with the fact that I too am short. Don't worry though, I wear panties.

2)My favourite sandwich is cream cheese and green olives. My mom thinks I'm weird.

3) I am terrified of people in big costumes where I can't see their faces, like at Disney. But I still love Disney World.

4) I have a thing for Bruce Willis, it may even beat out my thing for Johnny Depp.

5) In high school I was a cheerleader and a rebel, my roommate thinks I was Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill.

6) I'm pale, sometimes I fake tan, but m

ostly I'm too lazy.

7) My favourite scents are grapefruit, hon

eysuckle and daisies and I mix perfumes t

o make my own.

8) I eat crackers in bed.

9) I LOVE Britney Spears despite working exclusively in indie music.

10) I've been the other woman, several times, I don't always feel bad about it but I think I should.

Favourite Things: The Perfect Combo

2010-03-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, there is such thing as the perfect outfit, a floral dress and a cardigan. Really, you just can't go wrong.
It's simple and sexy without being overt and it's also comfy and easy as pie to throw together.
This simple outfit is no doubt one of my favourite things. What's your go to outfit?

Right Now I'm Listening To:

Back to Me- Kathleen Edwards

Porches

2010-03-10T05:38:00.001-08:00

Along with getting out my bike there is another Spring tradition, only this one I'm only sort of looking forward to. The cleaning off and up of the porch. This means sweeping away dead leaves, digging up and replanting the long since dead plants, scrubbing off the table and wiping down the chairs and bringing out the candles and stringing up the fairy lights. And then of course sitting down with a much deserved glass of sangria, ahhhh...

Woohoo Getting Out My Bike

2010-03-09T05:40:00.001-08:00

Oh gosh, it's finally getting warm and that means I'll be hauling my pretty little bike out of the basement and dusting her off at last! I believe she'll need a few touch ups, some air in the tires, a few touch ups on her paint, but I can't wait to go sailing down the hill I live on with her!

Hurray!

Spring Sprung

2010-03-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

Spring dressing confuses me. You never know what the weather will be like, at least here in the cold snowy north you don't. Spring requires preparation and preparation. You could go for the above look and rock your big scarf and plaid and a hat on the chillier days. On a side note, I'm obsessed with her shoes.
Then of course there's the warmer days, as long as there's no rain. And you can go to way these girls did and wear adorable polka dot tights which are subtle but too cute. I especially love them with the romper in the lower picture.
Ah then there is the art of layering, check out the photo on the bottom left. This girl is a layering pro! She's got a long sleeve shirt, a scarf, a short sleeve jacket, pants and cute little oxfords! And to the right we have another spring idea, skirts. I own tons of skirt but for some reason hardly ever wear them. I'm making it my new goal to show my pretty collection of skirt the light of a spring day.
Finally we've got jackets. My personal favourite spring jacket is a leather jacket. It's tough, lightweight and kinda waterproof. Though I've been known to wear my red trench coat if it really pours, the bright color makes me happy.
The other option is a sweater coat and I'm loving this one. Actually, I'm loving everything about this look. The gorgeous blonde messy hair, the coat, the plaid, the high waisted jeans, I love it all.
On those warmer days you can go the way of a blazer like our good friend at Orchid Grey. I love this velvet one cause it keeps you warm and seasonally appropriate but it's also fun and soft.
What are your spring dressing go to's?

Favourite Things: Daisies

2010-03-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

What are your favourite things?

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

2010-03-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

I have returned from vacation to a slightly sunnier Boston. Let's hope this keeps up, more posts soon!!

What I'm Listening To:

Set Fire to the Third Bar- Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright

In Honor of Alice in Wonderland

2010-02-26T07:41:00.001-08:00

Through the looking glass...
Eat me...

Wear me...

Drink me...

The Rain Won't Get to Me

2010-02-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

Boston apparently intends to rain for a week straight. Normally this would depress the hell out of me, but I'm refusing to let it keep me down. Check out this couple, they didn't even let the rain bug them on their wedding day and look how cute they are!
Plus, umbrellas can look pretty chic, especially when paired with a classy skirt.
How do you keep your spirits up in the rain?

Where the Heart Is

2010-02-24T05:34:00.000-08:00

OK, part of this post is just that this guy is pretty, but the story is also just too sweet. Go on and read.

Pretty in Pink

2010-02-23T08:03:00.001-08:00

So these aren't quite my thing, but they are just too sweet and I figured at least one of you would love them. Go buy and send me pictures!!

Life at Warp Speed

2010-02-23T06:04:00.001-08:00

Wooo, life is moving awful quick these days. Sleep isn't happening an awful lot and I'll admit, I'm still being a bit of a slacker in school but I'm getting through it. My social life is a bit wild, a late night dance party with a DJ friend here, foreign movie and wine night at a friends house there, my very first comedy show, a friends band in town, a trip, vacation, good lord! My mornings are beginning to look a bit like the above picture. I'll admit, I'm having trouble keeping up, but gosh it's just so fun.

What I'm Listening To-

Times Square- Sarah Siskind

Blog You Ought to be Reading

2010-02-22T09:07:00.001-08:00

This right here is shameless friend promotion. This blog belongs to a friend of mine, an amazing, talented, pretty awesome friend. It's Boston based and covers arts, entertainment and fashion and you, little missy, ought to be reading it.

Dreaming of Summer

2010-02-21T08:34:00.001-08:00

Just thought I would share...

On Dating

2010-02-20T09:44:00.001-08:00

This photo is gratuitous, I just think they were the cutest couple ever and I've been watching a lot of old episodes of The OC. Dating is something that's new to me. As I've said before I dated my ex J for two years starting while I was still in high school. Then I dated B pretty much immediately after that, again for two years. For the first time in over four years I am dating, a lot. Now before you go calling me a hussy I am not saying that I'm out in my leopard print scoring unsuspecting dudes at a bar. But none the less I'm dating. I can't lie, I'm a bit out of practice. It's hard to go from being so much a part of an "us" to being a ME and inviting other people to come play on my playground.

I'm a bit protective of this playground, I guess I'm not a great sharer. It turns out these days words like relationship, settle down or love are pretty much a sure fire way to get me to run in the other direction. I told you before that there was a certain someone in NYC, and not that that person is entirely removed from my life but it got a little too serious for me to feel comfortable. He wants more from me than I'm willing to give.

I had a discussion with a good friend I haven't seen in awhile last night and we were discussing relationships, living together and being vs. not being a part of that infamous "us". She is at the point in her relationship (with a very lovely mustached long haired gentleman I might add) where they are discussing moving in together. She is hesitant, as was I, ok, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming, but that's another story. She is a charmingly spunky and independent girl who is very focused on her burgeoning career and she is hesitant to give in to the "us" because she worries that she will have to compromise.

As you well know, it is this compromise, and both B and I being unwilling to do so that, among other things brought about the end of my own relationship. Now, far be it from me to dissuade someone from moving in with their hunnie just cause it didn't work for me. But it got me thinking, I too am unwilling to give up any me for a we. I'm simply unwilling at this point to compromise my own life and decisions to involve someone else. And for the time being I'm ok with that. Not all my would be suiters are ok with this, but for me my independence is very important right now. I'm defining myself outside of a relationship, outside of school or work or location, I am at a point of reckoning and it's time for me to figure out who Me really is. And until I do that, I'm dating, not loving, not letting go or letting in. There's a lot more in life than being part of an "us".

Pardon My French

2010-02-19T09:09:00.001-08:00

But this bitch is cool...If you didn't already know, this is Leigh Lezark. She's a DJ and model and 1/3 of the NYC based trio The Misshapes and she is freakin' cool. Her signature bob is always died a shiny jet black which makes her crystal blue eyes pop against that alabaster skin. She's almost always dressed in black and pretty much always looks killer. My question is, how do you get your skin and eyes to look that good with so many late nights? Frankly, I don't think she's human, which I'm pretty sure makes her even cooler.

Cowboy Cool

2010-02-18T09:00:00.001-08:00

I'm having a moment. A cowgirl moment. I'm having this obsession with cowboy boots and I'm really not sure I could ever actually make myself wear them, but I like thinking about it.
So I grabbed myself a few pictures for inspiration. I know I've written about cowboy boots before but what do you guys think?

The Halsey Sisters Sing

2010-02-12T13:10:00.000-08:00

OK guys, here it is, the debut songs of The Halsey Sisters. Let me know what you guys think.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/osmdqs

http://www.sendspace.com/file/9q57fg

School Is...

2010-02-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Owning my life, back soon I promise!

Over the Knee Inspiration

2010-02-07T18:28:00.001-08:00

Since I am the proud new owner of over the knee boots I have been trolling the interwebs for inspiration on how to wear them. Up first, this little lovely, over the knee boots are obvious with jeans and a tough girl tee, but I love them paired with a sweet little skirt and a blazer. The simple hair keeps the look from being too done.
Now, yeh, ok, this is obviously how you wear over the knee boots, but it looks smokin' hot. The first look is slightly more polished, white top, light jeans, boots, leather jacket, big bag, an every day look. The second is the perfect look for shows, boots, light jeans, long gray tee, little bright bag and that same delightful leather jacket.

Obsession Du Jour: Soap and Glory

2010-02-05T11:11:00.001-08:00

Confession, I'm obsessed with Target's Soap and Glory line. Totally obsessed. My mom has gotten me several of their products as gifts and I haven't found a single one I haven't loved. Currently I'm using their heated shower scrub, and it's toasty! They recommend it for elbows and knees and such but for me it's the perfect foot scrub to warm up my freezing winter feet. Their peach scented body butter is also the most gloriously delicious summer scent. Up next I will be trying their deodorant which I'll admit is a bit pricey but I'm betting worth it. I haven't tried any of the makeup, anyone else tried this line and have recommendations?

Thrifted

2010-02-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

OK, I just had to share. I stopped at my local Goodwill yesterday and was just casually browsing and walked away with some decent stuff. I got a cute, brand new, mushroom colored cardigan, a beautiful large beige Chanel style purse and...this ridiculous shirt! I would never have actually bought it, but finding it in a thrift store meant I couldn't pass it up. I've done what feels like about a gazillion unpaid internships and even dated a former boss so this tshirt was just too funny for me. I'll probably never wear it as more than pajamas, but every time I put it on I'll giggle to myself.

I Don't Know What to Write

2010-02-01T18:44:00.000-08:00

If it wasn't patently obvious, I am suffering from a bit of bloggers block. I've simply got no clue what to write about. I'm a bit down cause it's winter and my feet are in a state of permanent hypothermia, I'm a touch down cause I've got no one around to warm them and I'm a bit stressed by my impending graduation and my swan dive into the "real world". All this combined leaves little room in my head to think about what to blog. So here's my question to you guys, what would you like to see? As far as stuff I'm already doing, anything you want to see more of? Or less of for that matter? And anything else you feel like would be good for my blog or that you would like to see. Let me know, a few fresh ideas would do my exhausted mind good.

Oh My!

2010-01-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh, I can't believe my luck. These pretty little darlings are mine all mine and for the bargain price of only eight dollars! I know, I too have to muffle my shocked gasp. Once again I have my beloved goodwill to thank. And I'll admit, they're a touch snug, but for $8 I can live with that. Now the question is, whatever shall I wear with them? Do you guys have ideas? Also, is it too tarty to wear over the knee boots on a first date?

Favourite Things: Baking

2010-01-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

I love to bake. It calms me. When I'm stressed, or have exams, I turn into Martha freaking Stewart. I've been a bit stressed about the whole roommate situation and therefore we are rolling in baked goods. Most recently I attempted my first pecan pie. Up next Im' thinking a delightful layered cake like this one. What do you do when you're stressed? How do you calm yourself down? Also, would you like some cake?

What I'm Listening to:

Genius- Kings of Leon

The Five Shoes Every Girl Needs

2010-01-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

Everyone has their go to shoes, mine happen to beat a rather beat up pair of black studded ballet flats bought a few years ago at an Aldo clearance. I love them. But there are five pairs of shoes that in this bloggers humble opinion, everyone should own. These are my top five...

1) Ballet Flats

But not just any ballet flats, a really, really fantastic pair. I chose these cute leopard ones from Gap, but it can be any pair as long as they're a bit out of the ordinary. I'm a fan of wacky colors or patters, and I frequently treat them as neutrals.

2) Killer Heels

Obviously a killer pair of heels are essential. But this is the pair that you can dance in all night but still manage to make you feel like a goddess. The pair that when you put them on you prance around your house like a pinup girl, this is that pair.

3) Everyday Boots

About nine months out of the year I live in flat boots. I love them, mine are generally vintage and scored at my local Goodwill. Flat boots are perfect with jeans, leggings, dresses, skirts, pretty much everything. Next to my ballet flats, they are my go to footwear.

4) Converse

OK, so this is just basically a casual but cool sneaker of some kind. My preference is converse, they are the ideal show going, errands running, everyday shoe. I'm a fan of grey since it looks a little less angsty teen, but any color is good, I'm also a big fan of maroon. Keds work equally as well in this department.

5) Hot Sandals

This past summer I destroyed my beloved pair of target, braided, gold sandals. Litterally, I mourned. Gold sandals are great for summer, they show off cute toes, go with pretty much everything and have an ability to make you feel like a Greek goddess. Plus they make legs look longer.

Am I missing one of your essentials? What are they?

Summer Girl

2010-01-22T06:17:00.000-08:00

I'm dreaming of cool summer nights, of sun kissed blonde hair in sea salt coils. I'm dreaming of flimsy dresses and sun hats, of drinks out of mason jars and fireflies. I'm beginning to dream of summer. Everyone has a season, and though I appreciate them all, I am a summer girl. It just so happens that fall is my favourite season(I just really love cider and a cute jacket). But summer is when I'm at my best, I'm happiest. The picture above reminds me of camping on the beach down in North Carolina, though we never could get our fires this big.

So what is your season? And why?

Chasing Chaos

2010-01-19T20:22:00.001-08:00

I've talked about it before but it bears repeating. One of the many things I learned from my charming artist roommates is an appreciation of a little chaos. Chaos is passion, it's whimsy, it's spontaneity. Without chaos, you can't have any of those wonderful things. That said, my life is a bit chaotic. I'm once again searching for a roommate, the aforementioned person who decided the speak to my ex behind my back just happened to be my new roommate. I'm not sure what her issue was, let alone her issue with me, but suffice to say she was unstable and mercifully has moved out. Though, she did leave us in a lurch with bills and a complete lack of roommate. Thankfully my other roommate is lovely and has worked out just fine. All the same, my life is bit chaotic. But then I think to myself if my life were easy it just wouldn't be the same. My moments of up and down give shape to my life, give words to my music. The picture above is chaotic, and absolutely gorgeous, the people I love are chaotic and wonderful, chaos it seems is an essential part of my life. And though I've tried to fight it it keeps coming back. So, I've accepted chaos in my house, in my music, in my wardrobe and in my love life, I think it's time I accept that chaos is here to stay and finally make peace with it, or even learn to enjoy it.

On a side note, I dream of a living room like this.

Favourite Things: Dogs

2010-01-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I love dogs. I grew up with them, several of them at a time and I have always loved them. When I was living in North Carolina I spent my weekends volunteering at an animal rescue. Pretty soon I started fostering dogs which was sad but also incredibly rewarding. I do have a little monster of my own. He's the namesake for half of this blog, I call him my little bear. It's not true for everyone, but for me, having a dog is one of the most rewarding things in the world. I don't recommend owning one to every college student, in fact I don't recommend it for most. Bust for me, having my little bear has always kept me grounded, it gives me responsibility and of course some good old fashioned unconditional love. Now, lest you think I come down whole heartedly on the side of the canines, you should know I've got two very spoiled felines as well.

How bout you guys, did you have pets during college or do you now? Are you a cat or a dog person? Or maybe something else entirely. I'd love to know.

Tar-jay's Boutique

2010-01-12T05:48:00.000-08:00

I just got these and I LOVE them! It's no secret that I love target, they're cheap, cute and and I think their mascot dog is cute. But I just got these last minute for a party and they are great. So comfortable and cute and on clearance!

This is My New Year

2010-01-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

Last year was both tough and wonderful. I'm hoping this year to have a few less trials and tribulations(despite the stress of graduating and job hunting) and enjoy life to the fullest. It's not a very solid or readily achievable resolution but it works for me. What are yours?

Ink Love: Collar

2010-01-10T09:27:00.001-08:00

So this was not the inspiration for this post, but I feel it can't be ignored. I'm in love with collar bone tattoos right now and Rhianna's is a lovely example. It says "never a failure, always a lesson" and while I think the sentiment and the fact that it's written backwards is lovely, I'm also just lovin' the placement. So I figured I would share a few more of my favourite collar bone ink spots.
This is not actually a fav tattoo so much as an excellent photo. My inner(very inner) art nerd just loves the composition.
I wish I could read this, the text is lovely as is its placement right along the bone. If anyone can read it let me know!
This one almost looks fake but it's none the less lovely. I like the period, it gives the single word a solid statement.
I think I've shown this one before but I still think it's just gorgeous. Birds were a big trend in tattoos this year but this one seems timeless and classic and like it was meant to be part of her body.
This is a popular statement for tattoos, in many forms. The placement is nice and I believe it goes with the bottom picture.
I like that they serve as a reminder to push through and to keep going. It's similar to how I feel about my wrist tattoo which serves as a reminder for me to always push myself to strive for more.I've shown you this one before but I still think the white ink is so awesome.

Generally I'm against names on ones skin (though my sister has her daughters name on her foot). But this just looks so lovely.

I love the sentiment in this, again, I suppose I'm big on tattoos that are reminders of a mantra or goal.

Chapeau

2010-01-09T11:56:00.001-08:00

Oh my, that was quite a bought with strep! Sorry to have been gone so long but sadly since I'm allergic to most antibiotics I had to just sort of wait it out. But I'm back and ready to, well, start classes again. But hey, it's my last semester. Anyhoo, I thought I would share this cute picture with you. I love the hat! She's so charmingly french. I never have the nerve to pull off hats like this, but I just love it. What are your thoughts?

Out Sick

2010-01-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

Back soon though!

Happy New Years

2009-12-31T05:49:00.000-08:00

Have an awesome night everyone, we'll chat next year!

Penny Saver: Cheery Morning

2009-12-28T07:57:00.001-08:00

I am not a morning person. But I do have to, thanks to classes and the little dog, wake up quite early. I've put in place a series of little things to cheer me up because of this, so I thought, since some of you may not be morning people, that I would share. First, my morning cup of coffee. I prefer it done with a french press but it doesn't always happen, however the addition of my favourite mug helps elevate any cup of joe(by the by my mug is white with pink polka dots).
This is my second secret weapon. During the winter my sensitive skin gets terribly dry, this is the only thing I've found that helps. It's very heavy and yeh, it's yellow, but it gives you a gorgeous glow and keeps your skin quenched all day. Just remember to let it soak in before you put on your makeup(you might want to enjoy your coffee while you wait).
This is my final weapon against blustery winter mornings, grapefruit lotion. It makes me happy. It's cheerful and bright smell makes me grin even on the grossest winter morning.

Anyways, those are my weapons against morning(particularly winter mornings which are the toughest) what are yours?

The Flower of Death

2009-12-24T15:55:00.000-08:00

Trusting people isn't easy. It's harder when they give you every reason not to trust them. In spite of this I give people the benefit of the doubt, not always to good ends. This is one of those occasions. Awhile ago I wrote about a certain someone who read my blog and relayed the information in it to my ex. I wasn't sure who it was, until now. I have discovered it is someone quite close to me, not emotionally so much as physically. I don't know why this person chose to do this, save for the fact that she dislikes me. But it is cruel and uncalled for, and now that I know I am taking every measure to remove this person from my life. As I've said before, my ex has substance abuse issues and the information that I was dating someone else was traumatic for him and his reaction was traumatic for me. As far as I'm concerned the actions taken by this reader, who also snooped uninvited through my computer to find this blog, were malicious and intentionally harmful to myself and others. To those of you who have been kind and supportive readers, I appreciate you even more now and I hope that your holidays are wonderful and that you're surrounded by people who you love and love you. As for that certain reader, rest assured that I know, and while I am not vindictive like you, I am not the type of person to take things laying down.

New Years Rock and Roll

2009-12-17T05:38:00.001-08:00

OK, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to help me figure out what to wear for New Years Eve.

Here's the deal, my roommate and I are going to a bit of a crazy New Years night. My old boss is in a Guns and Roses cover band, don't laugh, which is actually pretty legit. They've been on Letterman and they're rated like the top in the country and the band is made up of musicians from Takka Takka and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. It's also just a crazy, loud, drunken night of debauchery. And since my past New Years have gone epic-ly bad I've decided that crazy is the better way to go.

What I need from you is to help me figure out what to wear...beginning with the above leggings. Please keep in mind that I have a limited budget, sooo either things that are cheap or could be found cheap. Feel free to use polyvore or whatever you like best and feel free to email me or comment. OK guys, get to it!

From Russia With Love

2009-12-16T06:01:00.001-08:00

It is darn cold out!!! No wonder I'm seeing Russian inspired fashion everywhere. The above pic is from last year(maybe even older) but it's a timeless winter look. And with H&M putting out those glorious fur hats now everyone can rock the Russian look.
I like this grunge take on it. Though for me I would prefer thicker tights, my poor little legs would get cold.
This too is glorious. I love the moodier mink colored hat. Especially with the pretty blue of the dress.
This is probably my fav look. I love the mix of patterns/textures and the gorgeous Fall colors.

Girl Crush

2009-12-14T17:11:00.001-08:00

I've got a girl crush. This, if you don't already know, is Willa Holland. She was in The OC at one point and though I don't watch it was apparently in Gossip Girl.
I think she's fascinating.
Obviously she's gorgeous, she's got lovely eyes and that fascinatingly full top lip. She's also go that pretty long, brown, shiny, straight hair.
But what I really like is her high school bad girl appeal. Weird, I know.
But this chick just seems fun, she seems like the kind of girl I would've wanted to hang out with in high school, also the kind of girl my mom would have said hell no you can't hang out with her to. Thus solidifying her appeal
So maybe it's my inner high school rebel that loves this girl and her smudgy eye liner and penchant for cigarettes and compromising photographs but I just can't seem to get enough. Like I said, I've got a girl crush.

You Made My Day

2009-12-11T15:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday someone told me I looked like her, and gosh it made my whole day! Who do people say you look like?

The Painter in Paris

2009-12-08T16:35:00.000-08:00

My roommate and I have this thing, we like to troll Craigslist searching for apartments for our completely unrealistic dream lives. One of my many dream lives is to be a poor but happy painter in Paris. It is a dream because it is a sad fact that I cannot paint, though my finger paintings are quite good.

The Painter by acelovesvintage featuring Betsey Johnson jewelry

Mostly what I want is the excuse to wander about drinking good coffee and wearing charmingly paint splattered clothes, smoking cigarettes without worry about the consequences and of course, lots of hats, scarves and maybe a delightfully scruffy painter boyfriend.
This would be my charming studio and oh yeh, that's a working fireplace for those nights when the passion of painting becomes discussions of art and life while drinking red wine in front of a fire. Ah yes, that would be the dream.

What's your dream life?

Gosh Darnit Modcloth

2009-12-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile I do a post about how Modcloth is trying to torture me, this is one of those. I must admit, Modcloth is a touch out of a my price range. But I none the less drool over their wares like this awesome sweatshirt dress with the charming zipper touch. How cozy!
This studded skirt would be perfection with a loose v-neck white t shirt, black tights and black booties.
I can just see this dress with a pair of textured tights, some cute mary janes and maybe a velvet blazer.
This has to be my favourite, they call it the art class dress. And it does look like just that. It would be perfect with leggings and little ballet flats and maybe a feathered headband.
Ahhh this skirt is glorious, what wouldn't it go with? A loose shirt and a pair of heels, lovely, a tank and blazer with some boots, work ready, an untucked loose t shirt with some cons and it concert appropriate.

I swoon, the end.

I'm unsure of these, cause they look quite a bit like something Mrs. Claus would wear, but they're still kinda cute, what do you guys think?

Fall is Here, But Not for Long

2009-12-07T17:05:00.001-08:00

I've been a blog slacker I know! Bare with me, I'm midway through finals and I'm holding on, but not by much. Things that have been cheering me up however are a visit from the aforementioned guy from NYC and a delightful snow storm Saturday night which allowed us to all curl up in the house with wine and Jenga. It's the simple things. Also, there is no reason for this pic, I just think it's awesome.

Ink Love: Couple Ink

2009-12-03T05:17:00.001-08:00

Normally I am the first to rant against couples getting tattoos for each other. But these two tickled my stone cold heart. First, I love these two, it's simple and ok, a bit tacky, but it's sweet. They both have "forever" tattooed on their sides.
This one is also just too sweet. I think it's an engagement or wedding photo. Now like I said, don't go getting your man's name tattooed on your ring finger, but none the less, I think these are sweet.

Right Now I'm Listening To:

The Roughs of The Halsey Sisters in the studio!!!!!

My New Goal

2009-12-01T06:10:00.001-08:00

I have a new goal, and no it's not being naked. Though that might be part of it. In the wake of my recent break up I have no qualms about admitting that my self confidence is a bit injured. I'm not saying I'm feeling down on myself, but I'm just not the perky, spunky, outgoing Ace that I usually am. In light of this I have decided to make a new goal for myself, and that goal is lingerie. I've heard it from cosmo, and the blogosphere and apparently french women swear by the confidence boosting powers of pretty unmentionables. Up until now I have scoffed at such a concept in favor of my cozy, comfy cotton panties. They are cute enough I said, be damned thongs I said, but I find I'm begining to change my mind. I mean, this chick ^ looks like she knows what she's talking about right?
This goal is not without some work though. First and foremost it means relinguishing my less than flattering underbits in favor of frilly, lacey, girly bits. Though I'm not pleased about giving up some comfort I am excited at the thought of feeling pretty even under my uniform of jeans and t shirts.

Now before you run off and say the Kitty Bear Chronicles has gone from the single ladies edition to the slutty ladies edition, this is NOT about attracting some hot piece of man candy(last I checked that rippling midsection of Taylor Lautner is still jail bait). This is more about feeling sexy for myself. It's about remembering that even when I'm feeling a bit down that I am beautiful and that taking care of myself inside and out is important.
So tell me(if you want) are you a lingerie kinda girl? Or are you the comfy to the core type? Know any good places for cheap, comfy(ish), sexy lacy bits? I know, I know, I may be asking too much.

Easy Updo

2009-11-29T13:04:00.001-08:00

I don't know about you, but I love holiday parties. I love finger foods, family and friends and festive dresses. But I always struggle with how to do my hair. I want it to look fancier than usual, but it can't take hours(dates flee at the thought of 3 hours worth of getting ready). I also like my hair, which is on the fine side and tends to fall victim to the dreaded static, to be off of my face and depending on the dress off my neck.
Both of these styles look both chic and(I know I've tried) are pretty easy to achieve. All you need for the first is some second day hair and baby poweder, a big culring iron and some bobby pins. The second is a just a charmingly mess chignon. Either would look just delightful with a cute as a button party dress(maybe like this one).

Or here's some inspiration I cooked up for whether you're the glam goddess, the social butterfly or the rock star.

Christmas Party by acelovesvintage featuring American Eagle Outfitters

Items in this set:
American Eagle Outfitters dress, $45
Modcloth.com dress, $53
Shop.hm.com dress
Miu Miu shoes, $396
French Connection boots, 130 GBP

Heading Home

2009-11-28T10:14:00.001-08:00

Holiday Travel by acelovesvintage featuring American Eagle Outfitters

I don't know about you, but when I'm driving, I have a very strategically planned ensemble. It is planned for comfort, warmth, and to disguise the coffee I will inevitably spill on myself. I am just returning from a week at my parents place in upstate NY and that means putting together all my road trip essentials. Namely, an oversized sweater, comfy dark leggings, my awesome moccasin boots, a cute coat, a hat to keep my ears toasty and my staticy hair hidden and a big purse to throw all my crap into. I met my mom half way to see New Moon, yeh, I went with my mom. So I also brought along the new moon soundtrack and some sweet face shimmer(not this brand but this made me giggle). A road trip also wouldn't be complete without some Devendra and Avett Brothers and my fav chocolate covered pretzels. What are your road trip essentials?

Penny Saver: Coffee Time!!

2009-11-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a Penny Saver in awhile. But with the holidays coming up I know we're all looking for ways to pinch our pennys(and I don't just mean at the Black Friday Sales). Now I know you all know I'm a coffee feind so let me introduce you to my little Penny Saver, Goya brand espresso. Some of you may scoff at the simple Goya brand, but I swear by it. I love their black beans for soups and beans and rice and their Sazon Goya is the perfect seasoning for just about everything and now I've discovered their coffee and lemme tell you I'm sold. At just $4 a can this is a bargain and its rich, delicious flavor is nothing to scoff at.

Got Penny Savers of your own???? I'd love to hear them and if you don't mind, share them.

Fall Outfit Inspiration

2009-11-26T14:01:00.001-08:00

I love the combos of gray and white and mint in this with black accents. The gorgeous long rocking horse charm is also just amazing. I'm currently coveting a circle scarf like that, I'm hoping to grab one(maybe on sale?) from American Eagle, they have some very charming crocheted ones.
This is just too sweet. I love the summery dress with the cutsey knit hat and the ivy league professor style grandpa cardi and briefcase. The background is super sweet too. The loose, simple hair is the perfect touch.

So The Secret's Out

2009-11-23T16:38:00.000-08:00

Paranoia. Fear. When did I become this frightened person, this needy person? When did I start needing constant reassurance. I used to be so self assured. I used to be so confident. Now I find myself worrying. I worry about the new one, I worry about the old one, I worry about worrying at all. Why should I care? I shouldn't, so why do I?

Why do I question myself, why do I question? I worry I'm annoying, I'm so tired of feeling annoying, more worried about feeling unwanted. I feel unwanted. I never used to. I worry he doesn't want me, that now that I've crossed that threshold of wanting him that those feelings won't be returned. I've spent a year feeling unwanted, I've spent 6 months feeling unloved, I've spent three months feeling hated, worthless. My self esteem is shot. I find myself reading too deeply, looking for a clear sign.

My ex knows, about the new one, he says one of my readers told him. If that's the case, I'm hurt and I admit to feeling a bit betrayed. Which is odd given I don't actually know any of my readers. But I am not afraid, I will not hold back. The truth is he hurt me, he broke me down and made me doubt myself and everything I knew. I am just barely putting myself back together and I deserve to feel good, I deserve to feel wanted, and I deserve to want and care and feel ok with that.

So my dear reader, if you do in fact exist, thank you, for letting him know that I refuse to be trapped in a cycle of addiction, emotional abuse and pain. Regardless of any other person, people, what have you, I do know that I should be(even if it's hard) moving on from this. And I have to hope that in time my self assuredness will return and I can feel safe in caring about someone and being cared about.

Ink Love: My Ink

2009-11-23T09:36:00.001-08:00

As promised, this, my friends, is my tattoo. It was my second and I got it about 3 years ago when I moved to Boston. I got it the day before Christmas eve with my then boyfriend. It says "Fortune Favors the Bold" which is one of the english translations of the latin "Fortes fortuna adiuvat". It was originally written by Terence in the second century BC but is most often associated with Vigil's Aeneid and it is believed to invoke the goddess of luck. To me it was to signify my choice to leave the path I was on, my major, english, my new home, North Carolina, and pursue a new path, music in Boston. It was to remind myself to be bold in my choices and to not hold back when it comes to the things I want. Living in North Carolina, away from my family and my boyfriend, and losing my best friend was a really difficult experience and I felt in a lot of ways I could have just given up or felt sorry for myself, but I refused to allow the things that had been difficult in my life define me and the tattoo was my way of constantly reminding myself to chase my dreams, no matter how tough it was. Do you have tattoos? What do they mean to you? Or do they mean anything? I would love to know, even if it's just tattoos you've thought about or are thinking about getting.

No More Midterms Please!!!!!

2009-11-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

After an awesome, but exhausting weekend recording I must now go take a second midterm for my awful music history class. How dreadful! Wish me luck, cause to be honest, with all of the music making, not a lot of studying was done. It's ironic that making music is taking a toll on my music major.

Studio Virgin

2009-11-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

The Halsey Sisters began recording last night, hooray. I'll admit that I was astoundingly nervous, but it's getting better. Granted, I had to turn the studio lights off. But all went well and we've got one song almost done, we're hoping to get a second done today. The only problem? I'm starting to lose my voice, so yours truly will be chugging tea all day! Now we're off to go pick up our brand spankin' new ukelele and possibly a tambourine. Wish us luck!

P.S. I want to be the girl above.

Currently Listening to:

Tiger- The Halsey Sisters

Don't Rain On My Parade

2009-11-20T06:17:00.001-08:00

Rainy Day by acelovesvintage featuring Hunter boots

Today it's pouring and this, minus the cute boots, umbrella and change purse, is what I'm wearing. My band gets in today and we start recording tomorrow so nothing can keep me down! Also, the aforementioned items which are not in my outfit are totally on my Christmas list. Have a great day everyone and if I don't get the chance to post have a great weekend. Wish me luck!!

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros- Home

Falling For New York

2009-11-18T10:12:00.000-08:00

I posted awhile back that one of the scariest parts of going through a breakup and being on your own for the first time is feeling something for someone new. It hasn't been long since my breakup, and I'm the type to second guess myself a lot, it's what I do. I wonder if it's too soon to feel something for someone, if perhaps I should be in some sort of relationship mourning, I wonder if he's the right person to feel something for. Is it rebound? Or perhaps am I rebound for him? I worry that I'm treating having a man around as a crutch, I tend to over analyze.

But my last trip to New York made me appreciate this certain someone and how much he respects me, cares about me and wants to be around me. It feels good to be wanted, and though I've resisted, I find myself wanting as well. I'm not saying I want to jump in head first, eyes closed and hope for the best. I am the portrait of emotional caution, of slow, timid movements towards anything beyond friendship. He would like more, he has been honest about that, and I respect that, but he also respects the fact that I am far from ready for anything more than casual and cautious.

I haven't invited him to Boston yet, it feels too intimate to bring him into my space, in the place that to be honest I hide from feelings and let myself be unashamed and hurt. He understands that hurt as well I know, having been through similar if not worse hurt himself. But bringing him into my place still feels too overwhelming. All the same though, it feels good to have a few timid butterflies in my belly.

Little Love

2009-11-15T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that I love Hole and idolize Courtney Love quite a bit, yeh, boob flashing and all I think she's swell. As a rebellious child I loved hole, they were tough and in your face and looked super freaking cool. Plus, my mom called them "noise" thus solidifying their appeal.
I happen to think her style is pretty awesome, or was, these days it's a bit lack luster I know. But I loved those red lips, ripped tights and tarty babydoll dresses. She was the crowned queen of grunge. I can't deny the soft spot I still harbor for babydoll ditsy floral print dresses and the occasional clunky doc martin.
Her rebel without a cause streak was also pretty enviable and the fact that she didn't seem to care what people thought made my youthful offenders heart convulse.
It seems though that mama's little baby is following in her wild child footsteps, a good thing? I'm not so sure, but the girl looks pretty badass. I will admit to having a soft spot for alabaster skin, ebony locks and a ruby red mouth(I'm talking to you Dita). And this girl has all that going, and she's only 16! I suppose if you're the offspring of uber famous and yet more tragic grunge royalty you have no choice but to be pretty fierce.

Favourite Things: Pink

2009-11-14T06:05:00.001-08:00

Pink makes me happy, it is one of my favourite things. Since winter tends to make me blue, I've decided to do a few posts on my favourite things. Pink being one of them. I love this picture of a couple of girls on a random pink couch. It inexplicably makes me smile.
This pink bike makes me swoon. I dream of a sweet pink bike. But I do so love my pretty blue one.
I ADORE this phone. Finally a good reason for a land line. It belongs to the one and only miss Peaches Geldof and it makes me terribly jealous. As does her silly little Brooklyn apartment.

Outfit Inspiration

2009-11-13T06:25:00.000-08:00

I love this adorable and slightly tarty but perfectly fall outfit. I love the black dress and the super high slightly sheer socks with the rugged boots. Topped off with that sweet little hat and that scarf? I adore it. What do you guys think? Got great inspiration pics? Send them my way!

Hair Appointment, Let's Try This Again.

2009-11-11T09:02:00.001-08:00

I'm getting my hairs chopped off again today, let's hope it works out better this time...

Ink Love: Beautiful Mess

2009-11-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

I adore this tattoo. It's too bad you can't read it but I just love this picture. The cut of the shirt, the messy messy hair and the tiny, subtle tattoo against the dark city background. I love it. That's all.

Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Take Me In...

2009-11-06T12:45:00.000-08:00

Headed to the city for a weekend of music and revery. Have a great weekend everyone!

The Halsey Sisters

2009-11-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

I am going through musical withdrawl. I don't think I mentioned it, but over the summer my roommates and I formed a casual but very fullfilling band which we dubbed The Halsey Sisters. We wrote a few songs, covered a few, played in a few parks and it was frankly fantastic. I am missing that outlet terribly now.

I just found out that a friend of mine, who is not a musician per say, sang at her bars open mic with a friend. The wave of jealousy that washed over me was not only overwhelming but surprising. I was intensely jealous of that oppurtunity and really wanted the same for myself.

My old roommate and have been attempting some long distance song writing and she's coming up in a few weeks to record some stuff for my recording class and I'm heading to NYC this weekend to play a bit and see some friends. But I'm itching to have some people to write and play with on a more consistent basis, and also the time with which to do so(dare to dream).

What I'm Listening To:

I and Love and You- The Avett Brothers

College Does Not Look Like This

2009-11-04T04:39:00.000-08:00

College is taking over my life. I had incorrectly assumed at the beginning of the semester that my senior year would be a piece of cake. And not that it's the hardest thing I've ever done but it's not easy either. The combination of 30 hours a week at work, full time school with some hard ass history classes and a rather tragic case of senioritis is leaving me pretty pooped. I feel like I have no free time to myself and I would KILL for a day off. Or even just a day to sleep in. How do you guys deal when you feel as if you're stretched just a bit too thin? How do you remember to find time for yourself but also make sure you get all of your work done? I'm not gonna lie, I'm very much looking forward to graduation.

Newly(and officially) Single? Bring On the Leather...

2009-11-01T12:46:00.001-08:00

Nothing says hot piece of confident, sexy, so-over-that-other-dude ass quite like leather. My new roommate has brought something lovely to the house...
A pair of leather leggings that I did not have to buy. I'll be honest, they aren' the sort of thing I would buy myself, but if they're laying around well hell, I'll indulge my inner rockstar. They are perfect for heading to the bar and picking up that cute, scruffy musician looking boy at the end of the bar. And yeh, ok, my confidence is a bit lacking and maybe they'll only allow me to muster up the courage to look at said cute boy, but hey, it's progress.

Leather by acelovesvintage featuring Splendid

My only question is how would you wear your leather leggings? Tips for me anyone?

Currently Channeling: Toast

2009-11-01T08:01:00.001-08:00

I love the Toast catalogue. Love it. It always makes me want to run off to some pretty old farm house on a moor with a yet more pretty slightly shaggy man. The looks form this years catalogue is just as lovely as the seasons before.
I adore those little lace up shoes, and how sweet are all the wooly tights and boots? The sweater dresses aren't bad either.

I also love the wellies and the muted plaids. The layered shirts are pretty great, but that's never been a look I could pull off. It always feels very high school to me. But I am lusting after that pretty yellow coat in the top picture.

What I'm Watching:

Labyrinth

Full Disclosure

2009-10-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

It's 2am and I can't sleep. I had been talking to my ex again, despite the fact that he is still moving out and I've got new roommates. None the less, we started talking again and for a little while it seemed like things might be ok. I was wrong.

Full disclosure...the reason my ex an i ended in the end was because he has a drug and alcohol problem. It feels weird to admit that here, to be honest, I'm astoundingly ashamed to say that. It makes me feel weak for some reason. It also isn't something I ever imagined as part of my life.

He says he loves me, says he wants to marry me in one breath and in the next fucks it all up. He has lied to me and deceived me and betrayed me over and over and yet I continue to love him. That too makes me feel ashamed.

It feels wrong to talk about this here, somewhere so public but so completely private at the same time. But I feel the need to be completely honest. I cannot be honest with my family, they worry enough already. I have a few friends who know, but I rarely tell them the whole story, again, I am ashamed and frankly I don't want to burden them with my multitude of issues.

Here I can be completely honest. And while it may not be entirely kosher or appropriate, this is my place and frankly I need to let it all spill out somewhere. To be honest, the fact that his addiction has continually come before me and before our relationship annihilates my self esteem. I don't feel as if I'm good enough for him to stop. And while I've seen enough TV specials and lifetime movies to know that this is not the case, it does not change how I feel.

It is hard to believe that he ever really loved me. Maybe he never did. And if that's the case then it breaks my heart. It also makes me insanely angry for the two years I wasted. I also can't shake the feeling of regret for leaving my ex J for B. Not that J was ever perfect or that our relationship was. But I left out of selfishness and youth and I regret that now.

Even as I write this I'm afraid of judgement. Of your judgement, and of the judgements that spin around in my own head. I'm afraid of facing the world on my own, and equally as afraid of falling back into things with B. I love him, and that's the toughest part. If I could hate him it would all be easier, it would make more sense, I could let go more easily.

And it's become clear to me that letting go, completely, is what I need to do. I don't know if he will get help, now or ever, but I know I can't wait around and hope. Moving on is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'll admit my first response is to pack my shit up and move, like I've always done. But I know that's not an option and it's not a healthy response. I have to be a grown up and move on, the only problem is I don't even know where to begin.

Cat Naps: The Beach

2009-10-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

Man could I use two things, a nap and a vacation. This picture pretty much covers both and it looks lovely. I've finished midterms but I'm still pretty exhausted. Hope you guys are doing well and if you aren't finished that you're chuggin' right along. Oh the joys of napping.

Right Now I'm Listening To:

The Good That Won't Come Out- Rilo Kiley

Ink Love: Le Love

2009-10-26T04:19:00.001-07:00

I love this picture, though it makes me miss my ex(let's call him J shall we?). He is covered in gorgeous tattoos and nothing made me feel safer than being wrapped up in his colorful arms. I don't think I could ever be as covered in ink as this girl is but she none the less looks lovely and this picture is just too sweet.